" what if"

what if nga na hindi kami ngkabalikan? ano kaya ang buhay niya at buhay ko? meron p rin kayang pagasa? im really feeling afraid and trying to figure out those questions. theres something I can't answer my question. dami naglalaro sa mind ko. siguro mas masaya sya sa ibang girl, ako naman still trying to find the right guy and hoping na mahahanap ang katulad nya. un siguro ang magiging buhay namin parehas. pero bkit ganun habang naiisip ko ung mga bagay na to napapaiyak at nasasaktan ako, my meaning ba kung bakit nya tinanong sakin ang mg bagay na to.minsan naisip ko n lng n wala un. gnyan tlaga sya. di sya ganun kashowy pero I know he loves me very much. kahit na hindi agree ang puso ko sa utak ko. stil nasasaktan ako.. I took it as a chalenge kasi for me he is the one. he will be the father of my children, the padre de familia of my house and my beloved hubby of my life! I really feel complete when I think of these. di ako sumusuko just to make him mine forever.. I really dont know kung hanggang kelan ganito but the only thing I knew was I am so blessed to have him in my life and I wish he would be forever... until we die.

“one day”

Is it hard to give just one day!! One day of happiness, love and care!! One day of fun, one day of everything!! I just need one day to forget all these..isang araw na kalimutan ko lng lhat!! Un lng… auko mgalit but I really thinking of quitting na..isang araw puro sakit pagdatin n gabi un pa din! Ganito ba tlg kahirap lahat!!!kasi im quitting na.. wala na ko malapitan pang iba,,im really just tired. Gusto ko man gawen ung pinapagawa nya pero eto ako.. umiiyak, nasasaktan..di ko lam kung san ako maguumpisa.. ilan oras na ba kong umiiyak.. knina okei pa… nkakngiti,nkakatawa, di pa umiiyak at wala png luha kahit isa.. pero eto ko naun di mapgilan bawat patak ng luha ko. Di mapigilan ang sakit na nararamdaman.. this is the first time na mararamdaman ko to. Nagtitiis sa mga sakit na dapat di ko nararanasan kasi ako ung ngbibigay..is it karma? Karma na ako nanakit before?? Na pati pamilya ko kailangan ako saktan.knino n lng ba ko lalapit? Knino na lng ba ko hihingi ng pagmamahal??kahit isa wala man lang mgbigay..ganun n ba ko ksama para parusahan ng ganito.. all I want was in gud place,, un lng nman ah.. im doing the right thing pero parang mali ang lahat. Parang ako pa ang mali this time. Im tired na. I just one day to relax! One day!! That’s all I want! No hurts no problem no sermon. Just me!! just to be happy. 1 month n lng im 20 pero I cant feel any happiness of my life.. kasi kahit isa lng sa wish ko 4 my birthday wala rin.. isa lng naman un.. un andito ung taong mahal ko.. kaso di nya ko mapagbigyan..an hirap tanggapin na he was not really inlove with you!!minsan naisip mo n bka naawa lng sya sau kasi no one loves you no one cares and specially no one beside you in every prob.. ang hirap tanggapin since bata ka until now ganito pa din.. walan pagbabago. Still im longing for love, care and presence of a true love!bkit ako pa?? ni hindi ko nga alam kung ako ba tlg si an?? Nanay ko bay an tatay ko bay an?? Kapatid ko ba yang mga yan? Do I know myself?? Kilala ko ba sarili ko?? Kasi parang iba ako eh..wala kasagot nu.. kahit sarili kong tanung I cant answer,, di ko lam kung knino ba tlg ko nanggaling… minsan naisip ko pkamatay n lng kaya ako.. para wala ng sakit wala na lahat! Wala na din sakit sa ulo.. auko na ksi.. since bata ako puro sakit na lng nararamdaman ko.naawa na ko sa sarili ko… begging someone to love me back! Magpakantanga sa taong di mo alam kung tama ba para sau.. im tired na.. kung pwede lng pagdasal na kuhanin mo na ko!! Im ready die!!lage na lng my purpose?? Asan?? Minsan lng ata ako mkaramdam ng totoong love,. Care and respect!!pagod na ko.. pagod na pagod na ko.. hanggang kelan ba ganito? Hanggang kelan na magiging tanga ako.. kapag matigas na puso ko and sobrang galit na nararamdaman ko sa lahat ng tao.. please.. tama na…this is the worst scenario of my life na hindi ko maintindahan ko bkit ngyayare skin toh.. kung bkit ako pa? kung bkit ako pa nsasaktan na tipong ako naman ung lagging ngbibgay.. I just don’t know the answer?kung dati nag gawa kong tumayo. Naun I cant. They help me before pero naun asan sila? Are thay asking you if your okei?? Wala dib a?? oo nagsasabi sila ng problema sau.. e kaw?? Nagtanung ba sila sau kung kamusta ka na?? kung anu n ngyare sau?? What?? Wala dib a?? my problema ka ba?? Di ba wla??kahit isang tanung tungkol sau wala man lng ngtatanung.. they just taking you for granted..

“Conquering The Hardships of Life, A Great Challenge For Our Generation”

There’s a saying that “Life is like a rollercoaster, sometimes you’re up, and sometimes you’re down, Twisting and turning. “ Every one of us is destined to be someone. Some can be wealthy enough and may have all the riches in the world, but not fortunate enough to find what we call the “true happiness”. On the other hand, there are some who experience the opposite but still manage to be happy because of the people around them, because of their family. Each one of us has our own problem, but now it all depends on how we handle it and get on with it.

I, myself, have been through a lot of things. At a very young age, I have done something that has taught me a great lesson. At the age of 14, I ran away from home, leaving my family behind without knowing where to go. Some teens would say, they left home because of their problems with their friends, problems with the family, but none of it includes my reason. I wanted to leave home because I wanted to be free from everything. It is a problem within me that I could not overcome. I wanted to be free from my parents who always give their sermon every time I do something wrong, my brothers and sister who always picks on me and asks me to do something since I’m the youngest. I did something that I know that there’s no turning back. I was happy at first, free at last. I never thought of my family that was so worried of me. I never thought of them and just enjoyed living by myself and do things I wanted with no one to worry about getting mad. No one can control all the things I wanted to do. I enjoyed the first few weeks of it but in the end I got tired of this. Soon I felt alone. Soon I realized that I needed my family. I got scared that I was alone. No one’s there for me. I began to realize all the things that are more important in life than the freedom I want. I decided to go back to my family who has taken me back, in spite of all the pain and disappointment I have caused them.

I am not regretting this experience I had. Instead, I see it on the bright side that I have learned so much from it. I don’t know how it all happened, how I failed to see all the things that will truly make me happy. Each day that passes after it, I began to put back all the pieces of myself that was broken. It was hard at first, but with all the things around me, people who showed their support and love for me, I have managed to move on and get on with my life and most of all, I become closer to GOD. This had helped me so much to be strong enough to go on with my life. Putting him in the center of my life is already enough help and enough reason to give importance of all the things I have in my life.

Of all the things that happened in my life, I have learned that there are so many challenges in life that we have to face. But we must still go on, get through it, and get stronger everyday. Problems have always been there, complicated or simple, big or small. But definitely it will teach you a lesson that we could never forget. Lessons that will keep us stronger, Lessons that will help us realize all the good things we have. Life indeed is like a rollercoaster. No matter how hard this ride seems to be, you just got to get through it. Just have faith in yourself. If you follow the track, for it will take you home. Track God has set for us. We just have to keep our hearts and minds open for us to be able to find the correct track that will lead us to what we called the true happiness.